Teetering on the Edge of Agoraphobia

My Battle with PTSD

Photo by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

I would like to preface by stating I have never been clinically diagnosed with agoraphobia, but I feel confident in claiming my life has moved in and out of being borderline agoraphobic based on what I am about to share with you.

I use the term “borderline” because I am a stubborn one, and I refuse to let fear completely stop me from living my life. Now, it has slowed me down significantly and has been a real challenge, to be honest.

It comes in phases. It seems as though I have always been here, but I know that is not true. I was not always like this.

I don’t want to be this way.

I want it to go away.

I want to be able to get in the car and drive to Target because I feel like wandering around there instead of shopping online simply to avoid leaving the house. I used to love going to Target. Or anywhere, for that matter.

I remember my life before my fears consumed me. Now, all I can see are the two extremes of who I used to be and who I am now.

I remember not even thinking about it when I needed to go somewhere. If I felt like taking myself shopping for the afternoon, I would get in the car and go. If I wanted to meet my friends for dinner, it was not an issue. It is now…